About Me

Name: Jackpine Savage
Biography
Loading...

Create Your Own Blog Find Other Townhall Blogs

Comments

Happy Groundhog Day!

It's Groundhog day, the day when a funny looking critter decides if we'll have an early spring, or more winter.

I decided to have a little fun with the occasion.


Happy Groundhog Day!

As always, comments are welcome and encouraged.
                                                                            





Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (32) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

Al Gore Snowball Fight

It's been a while since I came up with a new game, and I thought it was about time for one.

With the country in it's current mess, I thought we could all use a good laugh, and a new game was born. :o)

Are you tired of freezing your bunz off while Al Gore and his followers tell you we're all gonna burn up next week?

It's time for some Payback!!

Grab your mouse and whack big Al with snowballs!

Can you get on the high score list?
Challenge your friends for Gore smacking supremecy!
 
 
Townhall Chatter turns 1 year old!
 
Our little chat-room, Townhall Chatter (AKA Jack's Place) Turned 1 year old on friday.
We had a full house, as all the old regulars and some new folks came in to celebrate.
If you haven't been there yet, or if you have but haven't been by in a while,
I want to invite you to come join the party.
 
Hang out with like minded people from all over the country,
where we plot the eventual downfall of liberalism,
and pray to William F Buckley!
(Actually we just hang out and talk about whatever comes up.) :oP
 
 
                                                                              
 
As always, comments are welcome and encouraged. :o)
 
 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (33) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

I'll have an order of fried Sea-Kittens please

  "People don't seem to like fish. They're slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you're swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You've done enough damage, buddy. We've got it from here. And we're going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it's time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?"

The above may look like satire, but sadly, it's the Actual text from the PETA website.

From the wonderful people who passed out comic books to elementary students entitled "Your Dad Kills Animals!" comes their latest lunacy.

PETA (People Euthanizing Tossed Animals (Look it up)) Now wants to change the name of FISH, yes Fish! to, (wait for it)     "SEA-KITTENS"!!  (No S&%$!)

 I guess it's not enough to throw red paint on celebrities who wear clothing made from truly renewable fibers (fur), Or frighten children by telling them that since their daddy eats the flesh of dead cows they should hide their puppies from that monster. (Seriously), or even the PETA freak that called Sarah Palin a Cannibal because she eats Moose. (If she'll eat a moose, she'll eat a Child!!! (Yes Seriously)), now they want us to stop eating Fish.


Now, if we take this totally illogical leap to it's logical conclusion, we can see just how ridiculous the idea is.

It will affect National security.  How many enemies will be afraid to hear the USS Sword-kitten is sailing their way?

It will affect Local politics. How many people will really want to live in Kitten-Kill New York?

Pepperidge Farms will go out of business, because no one will want to eat bags of Gold-Kittens.

Gortons would have to start selling Batter dipped Kitten-sticks.

Heck, it will even affect Astrology, Because Pisces would be the sign of the Kitten.

Not to mention that it would be ridiculous calling Abe Vigoda "Sea-Kitten".


Can you imagine going into McDonalds, and Ordering a Filet-o-Kitten sandwich?

How about Long John Silvers  Kitten-and Chips?

I can't wait till our local restaurant starts advertising it's Friday Kitten-Fry.


What's next?  Are they going to rename Lobsters "Claw-Puppies"?
Maybe change the name of Oysters and clams to  "Ocean Hamsters"?

Do you need any more proof that liberalism is a mental disorder?
(Like you did anyway)



Actually, I have a feeling the whole thing will backfire on PETA.

I'm kinda beginning to wonder how the family cat would taste with melted butter and tartar sauce. (here kitty kitty kitty!)



As always, comments are welcome and encouraged.
And if you can come up with more examples I'd love to hear 'em. :o)

Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (76) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

All the Secrets that are fit to Print


A few days ago, the New York Times upheld it's "grand tradition" of handing our enemies all of our secrets.

Saturday, the Gray Bit&& divulged more American secrets to our enemies when they put the story on their front page about our Covert attempts to stop the Iranian nuke program.

This continues a long line of security secrets the Times has handed to our enemies since 2001.

We used to be able to track the movements of Osama Bin Laden through his satellite phone, until the New York Times decided to tell the terrorists that we were tracking them through cell-phone traffic.  An important tool for tracking terrorists taken from our toolbox to sell a few papers.

We were able to track terrorists through the international banking system, by following the money trail, Until the times divulged this information, and removed another tool for stopping terror.

The times was gleeful in exposing the Rendition program that was started under Bill Clinton, yet they remained silent about it, until Bush came to the white house, then they used it as a club to beat Bush over the head.

Do you see a pattern emerging here?


Can you imagine if they had released secret information about the Normandy Invasion during world war 2?  Or if they had released secrets about the Manhattan project?

Their hero FDR would have shut down the paper and imprisoned the entire editorial staff.


My question is, Does the Times Hate America?
Or do they just hate George Bush?

How can anyone at the paper call themselves an American, while they endanger the lives of Americans to sell a few more copies of their bird cage liner?


The Real question is, will it continue when their "Anointed One" takes office this week?


As far as I'm concerned, the Times has repeatedly committed Treason, and their publisher should be in Leavenworth, or dancing at the end of a rope for endangering the lives of fellow Americans.



All the news that's Fit to Print, has become, All the News that Gives Bush Fits.



As always, comments are welcome, and encouraged.

Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (36) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

The New Raw Deal

  Yesterday,  President-elect Barack Obama revealed his new "stimulus plan", which he has dubbed the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan".

I call it the New Raw Deal.

In this post I'm going to dissect some of the highlights of Obama's speech.


"Throughout America’s history, there have been some years that simply rolled into the next without much notice or fanfare. Then there are the years that come along once in a generation – the kind that mark a clean break from a troubled past, and set a new course for our nation.
This is one of those years."

I love this, "A troubled past"?  So, according to Obama, nearly a decade of unequaled economic growth is now "A troubled past"??

I guess, if your goal is turning America into a socialist nirvana, I can understand the triumph of capitalism "a Trouble Past", but all the people who became millionaires during this "Troubled Past" by the sweat of their brow, may feel a bit differently.


"We start 2009 in the midst of a crisis unlike any we have seen in our lifetime – a crisis that has only deepened over the last few weeks. Nearly two million jobs have now been lost, and on Friday we are likely to learn that we lost more jobs last year than at any time since World War II."


While they'll be arguing for decades over the cause of the current crisis, all the economists I've read, say that it was poor government regulation, coupled with liberal meddling in the market that brought this mess on.

One thing is clearly evident, Obama is still in campaign mode.  Much like the first 4 years of the clinton administration, it appears Obama will be in non-stop campaign mode for the next four years. After he won his second term, clinton quit campaigning and started chasing fat interns.(But that's another story)


"I don’t believe it’s too late to change course, but it will be if we don’t take dramatic action as soon as possible. If nothing is done, this recession could linger for years."

Talk about Deja-Vu! If you read transcripts of FDR's early economic speeches, you will see the very same warnings, If we don't do something now, we'll never recover.
Of course, if you read "The Forgotten Man" by Amity Schlaes, or just about anything by Thomas Sowell, among other economists, you learn that the "Drastic Measures" FDR implemented did nothing to fix the recession, and instead turned a Recession into the Great Depression.  Recessions through our history, usually have an average lifespan of 18 months. The Depression lingered a Decade!


"This crisis did not happen solely by some accident of history or normal turn of the business cycle, and we won’t get out of it by simply waiting for a better day to come, or relying on the worn-out dogmas of the past. We arrived at this point due to an era of profound irresponsibility that stretched from corporate boardrooms to the halls of power in Washington, DC."

In some ways, this is correct. We didn't get here because of normal business practices, we got here through a combination of really bad ideas backed up by a liberal government overseen by Clinton, then Bush, and Wall street trying to take the lemons handed them by DC, and trying to make lemonade.
 The Community Reinvestment Act, begun by Jimmy Carter, and Strengthened by Bill Clinton, forced banks to provide loans to buyers who couldn't repay those loans. Sub-Prime mortgages became a huge Ponzi scheme, that needed constant infusions of new blood, from increasingly bad risk borrowers, because the only way to profit was to spread the risks around. They packaged bad risk loans with some that weren't quite so bad, then sold them as "Securities".  As long as everyone paid their mortgage payments, everyone profited. But when democrats refused to do anything about skyrocketing energy prices, the bottom fell out of the market, when the sub prime mortgage customers had to decide between paying their bills and buying food.


"Now, the very fact that this crisis is largely of our own making means that it is not beyond our ability to solve. Our problems are rooted in past mistakes, not our capacity for future greatness."

I would actually agree with this, if he actually meant "We democrats screwed up", but we know that the "We" simply means "Republicans". And his line about Greatness, means the Greatness of socialism.


"That is why I have moved quickly to work with my economic team and leaders of both parties on an American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan that will immediately jumpstart job creation and long-term growth."

This translates to, "We're going to throw money around and hope something works."


"There is no doubt that the cost of this plan will be considerable. It will certainly add to the budget deficit in the short-term."

Talk about Understatement!
This package costs more than the entire Iraq war, which dems ghave screamed is too expensive. And by "In the short term" he means "Our grandchildren's grandchildren will be paying for it.


"Only government can break the vicious cycles that are crippling our economy – where a lack of spending leads to lost jobs which leads to even less spending; where an inability to lend and borrow stops growth and leads to even less credit."

This gets to the Heart of his whole plan.
Only Government can truly give you everything you want, and give you a security blanket, so you don't have to do anything to improve your own life.
 Trust us, we'll take care of you.


"That work begins with this plan – a plan I am confident will save or create at least three million jobs over the next few years."

Over a Trillion dollars to create Three Million Jobs? That averages out to 4.6 million dollars per job created. This is Responsible fiscal policy???
 If you want to really stimulate the economy, why not just take that 1.4 trillion and disburse it to the approximately 200 million adults citizens in the country? That would Stimulate the economy. It would also eliminate the unemployment problem, save the auto industry, and the baking industy in one fell swoop.  Of course that would make too much sense, so it could never happen.


I could go on, but the above makes my point.
This is nothing new, this is basically the same stuff that FDR tried out, which failed miserably. A nation cannot tax and spend it's way into prosperity.
If you want to stimulate the economy and create jobs, simply repeal the Capital Gains Tax, remove stupid government regulations like "Mark to Market, and Sarbanes-Oxley", then get the hell out of the way, and let the market fix itself.


There are Overwhelming amounts of evidence that FDR's New Deal extended the Great Depression for a decade, when it could have been over in under 2 years, if market forces had been allowed to play out.

It took World War Two, to finally get us out of the depression, If Obama's New Raw Deal goes into effect, it may take World War Three, to get us out of the Next Great Depression.  (We didn't have nukes in 1941)

Basically, all I can say is, Fasten your seat belts folks, it's gonna be a long bumpy ride.


As always, comments are welcome and encouraged. :o)

Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (23) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

New Year Resolutions

The new year is a time for Resolutions.

Folks resolve to quit smoking, lose weight, and so on, but it's not just individuals that make resolutions.

I've collected the resolutions made by some famous folks, and other entities around the world.


George W. Bush
This year, soon to be former President Bush will resolve to catch up on that Brush Clearing that he's let slide for the past 8 years. He also has resolved to not say "I told you so", even though he'll be sorely tempted to do so almost daily, after Obama takes office.


Rod Blagojevich
This year the guy with the funkiest hair in politics has resolved to be an even bigger jerk than in previous years. With his record, this won't be easy, but something tells me he has the determination to go from low-life, all the way to true Bottom-feeder.


The United Auto Workers
Will resolve to keep grinding their cash-cows into hamburger, while they continue to waste 26 million dollars a year on their executive golf course in northeast MI.
Once they have bankrupted the big 3, they'll resolve to set their sights on the foreign automakers.


General Motors, Ford, Chrysler
The "rusty 3", flush with taxpayer billions, will resolve to keep coddling the UAW
until they face bankruptcy again. At which point they will fly their private jets back to DC with tin cups in hand to beg for more. Congress of course will be happy to fork it over after the obligatory dressing down on TV. (Anyone else think it's Ironic that Congress has the nerve to attack corporations for "Fiscal Irresponsibility"?)


US Congress
Following their dismal showing over the past 2 years, congress has resolved to become the first US Congress in history to achieve Negative approval numbers.
(I think they can do it)


Nancy Pelosi/Harry Reid
The little grey man from Nevada resolves to take his record of failures to all new depths in his quest to become the worst failure in US senate history. Pelosi, not to be outdone resolves to be a bigger failure than Reid, and have that stick surgically removed from her butt.


Barack Obama
Resolves to be the first President in history to be canonized as a saint by walking across the potomac river.


Oprah Winfrey
The queen of TV talk resolves to finally lure the true love of her life away from his wife and marry Barack Obama.  As soon as she can dump that damn Steadman guy.



Al Gore
The Goreacle resolves to keep fleecing the gullible of the world until it becomes painfully obvious that the earth really isn't warming up. He then resolves to change tactics and claim that greenhouse gasses are also causing the new ice-age. Liberals the world over rejoice in their new quixotic quest.


And finally,

Wobbie the wonder wodent/Hal Drunkahue/Sophie.
Our favorite troll resolves to add another 100 new careers to his already impressive fantasy resume, and continue to be a royal P.I.T.A. to TH posters for another year.
Meanwhile the REMF warrior resolves to reach his ultimate goal of drinking himself into a permanent coma. 
Sophie resolves to finally undergo the surgery required to finally become a Real woman.


I could keep going all day, but I think I'll stop here, I don't want this post to become a novel.
If you can come up with more, feel free to post 'em!

Happy New Year gang, and good luck with your own resolutions. :o)


Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (26) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

Merry Christmas

I wanted to post a blog today, but wasn't sure what to say.
I considered talking about my favorite  Christmas memories,
or about the politicizing of the holiday.
 
Then I just decided to be lazy and post a poem I wrote in 2006.
 
It pretty much says it all anyhow.
I hope you enjoy it
 
Merry Christmas.
 


    A Webmaster's
Night Before Christmas


'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring
except me with my mouse.


My wife, and kids were all snug in their beds,
while visions of Funpages danced in their heads
(Hey, I've gotta try 'em out on somebody!)

 

And me at my puter, coffee by my side,
while vainly to build a new Funpage I tried.
Then from the living room there came such a noise,
The cat knocked over the tree, and the dogs were in the toys!

 

I picked up the mess, the tree, and decorations,
and silently wished Santa would bring inspiration!
There came a knock at the door, and I looked out to see,
A bearded guy in red, and he was waving at me.
(We don't have a chimney)

 

In the yard were nine deer, one with a nose of red,
all standing there hitched to a toy laden sled.
The man coming through the door was so lively and quick,
I knew in an instant it must be Saint Nick.

 

Quick as a flash, much too fast to see,
He piled all the presents under the tree.
He ate all the cookies, and drank the milk too
then smiled and said, "Webmaster I have something for you!"

 

You work hard to bring fun to folks 'round the nation
so for you dear webmaster, I bring Inspiration.
You always give much yet little you take,
Here are ideas for Funpages, a whole year of them to make!

Ideas for funny pages, and pretty pages, and prank pages too,
sprang into my head so I can build them for you.

 

He then closed his sack, and jumped onto his sled,
I simply stood there, slowly shaking my head.
As he sailed out of sight, into the drifting snow,
I stood in the doorway, sorry to see him go.

 

As I went back to my keyboard I began to feel not so bad,
Because I realized the Greatest gift, I already had.
My website may not make me much money it's true,
But I'm a very Rich man because,
I have friends such as You!
 
 

 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (6) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

Merry A.C.L.U. Christmas

Merry A.C.L.U. Christmas!
 
One more Politically Incorrect card for the holidays!
 
Here's my idea of what would happen if the ACLU takes the next step.
 


From Our House to Yours
 
Every year, I create a Christmas e-card just for friends and family.
Since many of you already feel like family, I decided to post it to the blog.
This year I took a picture of my house, redrew the scene in flash, then crammed it into a snow-globe. :o)
There are 5 random scenes that play out when you shake the snowglobe. :o)
 
Have Fun.

From Our house to Yours!
 

 
Desktop Terrorist's Christmas
 
I also decided to create an off-line, Desktop version of A Terrorist's Christmas,
just in case anyone wants a little desktop toy. :o)
 
 
 
 
Not to your taste? Want something different?

Well I only have a couple hundred more. :o)

All of my Christmas/Hannukah Greetings! Including all of my Un-PC cards.

                                                     

 

As always, comments are welcome and encouraged.
 
 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (20) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

A Terrorist's Christmas!

This weekend I was sitting around trying to come up with ideas for new Christmas e-cards, and was watching the terrorist attacks in india.
So, being the slightly twisted individual I am, I decided to combine the 2, and created "A Terrorists Christmas".






A Terrorist's Christmas!




Hope ya like it, and send it to all your friends. :o)
(Be sure to use the handy tell-a-friend form on the page)  :o)


As always, comments are welcome and encouraged.




Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (20) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

When it's OK to say "Oh SH**!!!!

The past couple days I thought about what to write in the blog after tuesday.
 
I considered writing a big rant about how this election proves that being wishy-washy republicans will losee every time.
 
The I just decided to do what I usually do and make fun of America's collective Brain Fart.
 
The result is the following.
 
Times when it's OK to say Oh Sh**!!!
 
 
Also, I came across this Awesome video today that pretty much sums up my feelings about the election and where to go from here.
(although I don't quite share his infatuation with Mike Huckabee, this video should be seen by Every conservative in America.
 

As always, comments and debates are welcome and encouraged.
 
 
 
 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (19) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

Rejected Obama Bumper Stickers!

 I was bored today, and let my imagination run wild for a while.
(Hey it's too cold outside to rake leaves)
 
The result is today's post.
 
Here are some bumper stickers rejected by the Obama campaign.
 
 
 
Don't forget to VOTE tuesday!!
 
 
As always, comments and debates are welcome.
 
                         
 
 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (12) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

'Twas the Night before Election Day!

With today being Halloween, I thought I'd send a couple chills up your spine.
(As opposed to a thrill up your leg)


'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV,
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden
There arose such a din
I peered out my window
Saw Obama and his men

They’d come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money
And quick as a flash
Jumped back on his bandwagon
And left with my cash

He rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!
“On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi”
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
That wouldn't stand up and fight!

So I leave you to think
On this one final note -

IF YOU DON’T WANT SOCIALISM,
THEN GET OUT AND VOTE!!


The World's Scariest Halloween Card!!



       

          The World's Scariest Halloween Card


Use the form on the card's page to send to all your friends (10 at a time!)
to help us avoid this Nightmare!


Are you still a Mugwump?

I'll let Army Spc. Joe Cook explain things for you.
(This is currently the #1 video on Youboob!!)





As always comments are welco0me and debate is encouraged. :o)
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (10) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

Brand New Political Slideshow

Ok, Hot off the Hard Drive!
 
Here's Part 6 of my ongoing series of political slideshows.
 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (6) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

Presidential Punchout 08! (Brand New Game!)


Let's face it, this election has dragged on to the point that you just want to punch all of the candidates, right?

Well, now's your chance!

Presenting my newest game Presidential Punchout 08!

Strap on the gloves and go five rounds with the presidential candidates.

Choose either McCain/Palin, or Obama/Biden.

You fight 2 rounds against the V.P. candidates, then 3 rounds agains the top of the ticket. 
Each candidate also has a special "Finish Move" when your opponent is stunned.

Of course there's a High Score table so you can challenge your friends for superiority.

Have fun!

Comments are welcome and encouraged.

 

                          

                                    Play Presidential Punchout08!


 

New Political Slideshow!


I also added a new Slide show to my growing collection.
In case you've never seen one of my slideshows before, I take
actual campaign press photos, and add "word balloons" to them.

Guaranteed Giggles for all. :o)

 

                            

                                            Political Slideshow #5!

Here are the previous 4 slideshows for ya too!


     Political Slideshow #1!

     Political Slideshow #2!

     Political Slideshow #3!

    Political Slideshow #4!


New one coming soon!

 

Finally, a goodie for ya for Halloween!


The World's Scariest Halloween Card!

 

                      

                                The World's Scariest Halloeen Card!!



         All of my Political stuff in One place!

OK,  That should keep ya occupied for a while.

If you like these be sure to send 'em to your friends using the handy Tell-a-Friend form on each page. :o)

 

As always Comments are welcome and encouraged!


 

Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (20) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

O'Reilly Slaps down Barney Frank!

On the o'Reilly factor last night Bill interviewed Barney frank, and took hi to task for defending fannie/freddie as late as this year,
and denying any responsibility for the credit meltdown.

Yes Bill is a blowhard a lot of the time, but this time he was totally justified in blowing his top.

If you haven't seen this bit of classic TV yet, you really need to.
If you have seen it already,  you still need to see it again, just for laughs!




Comments are welcome and encouraged! "o)


Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (5) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive
« Previous123Next »